jan 25 1998
life is pain

wheee i am just having a loverly time living my life

cuz everyhting falls apart and the like

alex is mad at me cuz i asked him if i could get an indigo girls ticket that someone had an extra and he got mad cuz i forgot that i wasnt going to ask him anymore but i just couldnt help it

im not really ready to live away from home i guess cuz i still want to spend my money on little frivilous things that i can't afford anymore but i used to be able to.

i should go back to living with my mom

but i hated that. she's a pain to live with. okay to visit, a pain to live with.

or maybe i should just die

i really don't know what to do about everything, cleveland is just about killing me. don't know how meghan will take me leaving, and i don't want to leavhe her behind any more than she wants me to leave and alex just cant understnad that even though when i told him i needed spavce he cried like a baby

shouldnt say that, cryting not bad

i dont know, like he lays a guilt trip on me whenever i try to show some independance for a change.

i need to be me and im being a little suffocated.

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