jul 17

making changes to this site.

Putting that damn geoguide on all the pages so that even worse popup window won't show up.

lesser og two evils I guess.

I shopuld prolly go to bed cuz it's late but I don't wanna and I'm not tired right now.

I need a job but I don't want to go out looking. I hate that. And it's too hot to go hunting anyway. That's my excuse anyway.


Will someone please explain to me why i do this to myself?

i knew what the story was going to be about when I read it. it was a goo d story. Too good. Of course i should have knwn that too because keely;s been there. different religious perspective but she's been there. and the reaction was too real.

but i went and read it anyway. right before i went to bed. bad bad bad idea. can you guess I can't sleep? it's 4:30 and i'm wide awake and on the verge of a crash because i read that damn story. nd i'm not at tim and gina's, i'm home at my mom's. 'course if I was at tim and gina's I wouldn'thave been up this late and i wouldn't have gotten that farin my browsing and itwouldn't have been a problem. And if wishes were horses beggars would ride.

but why the hell do I do this to myself???

to top it all off i realized when i tried to go to bed thati'd managed to foget to take my pills this morning. i haven't done that in many months, but i forgotthis morning and now i go and read that damn story nad i'm about to crash and i didn't ake my damn pills.

The word "fuck" comes to mind.

Not very often that i'm afraid to go to bed.

I've been spoiled. I'm used to sleeping cuddled up next to a big furry wolfie all cozy an stuff and i'm at my mom's so i can't. i'm tempted to call so i can her their voices but that won't help enougha nd they need ther sleep cuz they got work tomorrow. so would i prolly, trynif to find a job, except now 'm afraid i'll be up all night trying not to think of my brother (and guess what, i'm in the room that he had whne we were little, which s the room where it all happened) amd a wrecl in the morning. and the afternoon, most likely. maybe i'll go see them tomorrow. i hope i can cuz i really need to. but then this is now and then'll be tomorrow and if i'm like this tomorrow i won't be able to drive very well so gah i'm stuck between a rock and a hard place

It's been a long time since i've crashed.


fuck is a fun word to type.

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