apr 15
gah

I don't know what to do here.

tim's starting a d&D game that I'd like to play in. I like tim's games; they're full of life. NOthing to do with my past with him at all; he's just a good gm. So I'm trying to juggle my schedule around so I can play.

And of course this is making jon uncomfortable.

This whole thing is really extremely frustrating for me. All I want to do here is play some d&d with some friends. that's it. it's just that these particular friends happen to be people I was once close to. Every time I mention wanting to play jon clams up... I know he'd be happier if I just never talk to them but it doesn't seem fair to me that I should have to cut myself off from some friends just to make jon happy.

I feel like he's making me choose between him and my other friends.

it ficking HURTS.

I'd love to say, "sure, jon, I'll cut all the ties I have with these people if it'll make you happy" but I can't do that... these people are really nice people. I have no intention of letting the past become the present and I've told jon tha tbut i don't think he believes me and that hurts even more.

i hate it when he's mad at me. or upset. or whatever.

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