1 january
reflections

Happy new year.

The new house is nice. I'm starting to get used to sleeping alone again. I don't like the futon so much but it's better than sleeping on the floor. The mattress is almost as thin as the one with jon was before we got the new one. I'm going to have to buy a new one, and probably a frame too so I can have my own. That can wait. My next paycheck should be big but it's almost spoken for already... I have to pay Jon back for all the money he lent me and I have to pay off the old DSL bill.

I was having some problems dealing with the lonliness and I figured out that part of the problem was that Jon had found someone he liked so much so soon after breaking up. If he'd casually dated a while first I think I would be dealing with things a little easier. but it's not his fault and it's not her fault (she's a really sweet girl but I'm surprised he's seeing her for a couple of reasons, mostly the fact that she has a kid)... hell I've been known to do the same thing. It's just something I have to deal with. I'm sure I'll be fine with some time. Already I feel better than I did a couple of days ago... talking to Jon & Dannette both about it helped a great deal... not that anything was changed (nor did I want or expect it to) but just getting the words out is a big help.

I've started keeping a paper journal again. I hadn't written in it since about July or August of 97 because all of my writing was online since then. But i figured that since so many people are reading this now and I'm not quite putting everything up like I'd wanted, I should get the real therapy again and start keeping a separate journal for my private thoughts. Again. I found the old one when I was unpacking the other night and started writing in it again. If nothing else it's helped me pass the time since I don't have a computer at the new place yet (the one I'm taking with me is a server and I'm keeping it with Jon until DSL is installed) and TV just doesn't interest me. I would have watched videos or used the playstation but at the time we didn't have any coax cable to hook it up. I'm bringing some with me tonight when I go back over there.

The new year was fairly uneventful, as I expected. Nothing went bang. Nothing died. My computers are all still functional. Even this old Sparc LX hosting this page is still running as well as ever. I'd check my bank account but the bank site is disapproving netscape 4.7 at the moment so I'll have to find something else. It doesn't like IE 4.01 either. hehehe. I didn't have much in there anyway so I'm not too worried. I spent the night just hanging out with Mary and Kip and getting a sugar rush from eating icing. :)

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