Abandonment |
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Where did you go? Why did you abandon me? I remember your presence but I don't know when you left you deserted me Sometimes now I start to cry but no tears come Others I find myself trying to cry because otherwise I feel nothing and the nothing scares me more than the pain. The nothing hurts more than the pain. Even a good day I wind up crying because always ALWAYS something goes wrong. and I am left with nothing or pain. And I start to shake and I start to cry or I try to but cannot and I scare myself and I scare myself and I scare myself And I feel a need to create because maybe creating will take away the pain But never does it do more than distract. So I distract And I distract And I try so hard to avoid the pain by distracting myself from my thoughts But then I find myself stranded eluded even by my creativity because something goes wrong and doesn't work right. and it keeps me from doing the things that keep me from feeling the pain for a while And I still feel you sometimes sometimes but when I reach to hold you You crumble into sand just like everything else Why do you abandon me? |
-11/22/96 3:24am |