Prelude
i want to lose myself tonight
leave my body to do its thing
let my mind wander
i want to be what i want to be
and that's so hard for me
because its so hard to lose oneself
when the dangers of society blanket life

were i to lose myself i'd suffer
perhaps arrested for indecency
but the human body is natural
we were born naked
we are always naked under our clothes
culture is the only reason we don't live naked.

i want to lose myself tonight
lose myself to myself
completely let my instincts take control
sex drugs life living
they are all the same
living breathing dancing sleeping
it is all the same

expression is lacking because of repression
i want to dance skyclad under the moonlight
it is beltane, i want to celebrate.
immerse myself in myself
immerse myself in love and spirit
immerse myself in nature
bathe in the moonlight
celebrate life with my sister the moon
life, death, everything, nothing
all is one
one is all

everything cries
everything sleeps
everyone dies
everyone weeps

bliss is the death that is life
happiness: woman and wife

i imagine myself
naked, in a warm pool
of water, a creek, a natural stream.
perfectly clear water, morning of the day.
a smile on my face, my hair long and dark
floating upstream
floating, floating
enjoying life

that perfect happiness
is this joy i call
to celebrate beltane
5/1/98
3:04am
Dance
her hands my breasts
cooperating and clashing
her mouth my lips
crashing and cooperating

then
OH MY GOD I'M MAKING LOVE TO JIM
then she is he and he is she
then both are he and both are she
then she is i and i is she
looking at me
then i is he and she is me
then i love and she is she
and i is me
and he is three
5/1/98
3:38am
Postlude
and i is me.

and then that song comes on
and i am smooth

my mind goes back to
that stream
clear and lovely
just floating

and i recall
i felt ray's fingers
play my lips like his organ
when she was he

my soul is floating
upstream back down to my body
floating as a leaf
in a breezeless day
my body just floats upstream

a shot of cold
smoothes my mind
like butter to a flame
i melt my body
and become one with the lake

then up comes the music and down goes me
and the friction another coolnes
and oh my god yes
that was the dance

and now my mind melts
like the caramel
just picture me
covering little bits of popcorn all over

its the mellow
you know
mellow
jello
yellow
cello
fellow
trebelo
er that's tremelo

and i rock to the beat
and my brain melts off the popcorn
to my teeth
and the taste and texture
completely separate
and are the munchies
always this great?

the killer awoke before dawn
he put his boots on
he took a face from the ancient gallery
and he
walked on down the hall
and he went into the room where his sister lived
and then he
paid a visit to his brother
and then he
he walked on down the hall
and he came to a door
and he looked inside
"father?"
"yes son?" "i'm going to kill you."
"mother?
"i...want...to...
"FUCK YOU!"

i love this song

my high came faster than my low
i haven't reached it yet

this is good
this is life
life is good.

munch

by now i am completely melted
into the stream
that became a river
that became a lake
the bits of popcorn
munched away
gradually completely smooth

this is close to what i wanted to do tonight
though not quite there
about as close as i can come
withough getting caught doing anything illegal

This is the End.
5/1/98
4:12am