sometimes i wonder how life can be so long how life can be so hard how life can be such a PAIN IN THE ASS why do i wonder why do i breathe why do i bother is there more is this all there is when will i know the Truth why does my life seem so far away from reality why do i live why i wake up i go to work i go home i eat i use the computer i go to bed then i start it all over again and sometimes i just sleep because i dont work that day and those days are the days that i'm happiest WHY because i dont have to deal with the worlds stupidity that day and i dont have to talk to the people that think im shit but call anyway because they DON'T KNOW WHAT THE HELL THEY ARE DOING and dont want to listen to me anyway and then get mad when i cant do my job and i need out of this HELLHOLE and into hibernation or something maybe if i could sleep all the time i would be happy but no because i would miss people and email and the web and all that happy horseshit because im an ADDICT and i cant get enough of the computer for SOME STUPID REASON even though its all i do all day long i just dont know what to do with myself and i dont know what to do with my life and i dont know how i can be able to live through all of this without going totally mad
- 1/9/98