I caught a glimpse of a rather nice figure yesterday. This isn't really anything all that unusual, but this time it kind of struck me. Why? Because it was in the mirror.
I don't have a perfect body. I realize that. But what I usually fail to realize is that I do have a nice body. Jon tells me that all the time and while I have no doubts of his sincerity, I have trouble accepting that he's right, compared to what others in society think... and I know the reason. It's because I used to be quite a bit thinner and then I gained a lot of weight. I'm not talking 30 lbs, I'm talking 80. In two years.
I've never really had a bad figure, just when I was at my peak I developed quite a bit of self-consciousness about my body, which is something I'd never had a problem with before but quite suddenly it rather bothered me. I realized that none of my clothes fit anymore and it wasn't because they were shrinking.
Well I've lost weight again since then but I'm still not as thin as I once was, or even as much as I think I could be (which would be the 30 lbs over my old figure), so I'm stil rather self-conscious. So no matter how many times Jon tells me that he loves my body and wouldn't change a thing, i still see myself as a bit pudgy.
But when I glimpsed myself in the mirror yesterday morning, I saw something that I had maybe never seen: I have a nice ass. Maybe it was just that angle, maybe it was potential that I was seeing, but it lifted my spirits to no end. I'm not entirely sure why, since it really hasn't changed, but I guess now I can see where Jon is coming from when he tells me that. And that gives me hope that the rest of me looks as good, even if I am heavier than I used to be and need to wear "plus" sizes. It's society that has the problem, not me. I look good.