Building Self-Esteem

This list does tend to work best when done in order. I'm not trying to pick on anyone; I'm trying to make lives easier for those who for whatever reason think they're less-than-wonderful. I hope this doesn't make me come across like some psycho-babbling "by the book" shrink or whatever... it isn't meant to. This is meant to come from one "ugly duckling" (how I viewed myself, not how others saw me) to anyone else who feels the same way. These are mostly directed at women but men can apply them the same way.

  1. Learn how to accept a compliment.
    This first step is the most important. When someone says, "You're beautiful," the correct answer is, "Thank you," not, "No I'm not." They were trying to be nice; let them. You may not agree with them but chances are, they wouldn't say it if they didn't think so. Even if you think you're worse than a pleasure GELF's true form, not everyone will think so, and some people WILL still find you beautiful. Let them.
  2. Take care of yourself.
    A little hygiene goes a long way. This isn't to imply that there are people on the list that have problems with it; it's just important towards feeling good about yourself. If you're clean and your hair isn't a tangled mess (way back in Ago my hair was so tangled I finally had to cut it and start over to get the tangles out), you feel a lot better about yourself. You don't need makeup or perfume if you don't like them; just be clean. When you're clean people will want to be near you more than if you aren't. And being clean just FEELS good.
  3. Treat yourself.
    If you think something looks good on you, then get it. Wear it. Do your hair occasionally. Buy bubble bath. If you want that candy bar, go eat it. If something makes you happy, do it. Happiness goes a long way towards being beautiful.
  4. Believe.
    The more we hear something, the more we tend to believe it. The more we believe it, the more it becomes true. When people first started telling me I'm beautiful/smart/pretty/whatever, I thought they were full of crap. But when I started to accept the compliments, I started believing them a little, and when I believed them a little it started to radiate from within. The more I believed, the more it radiated, which caught the attention of more people, who in turn would compliment me, which would cause the radiation to be greater, and so on and so forth.
  5. Become impervious.
    While all of this is great advice, the fact of the matter is that there WILL be people who have negative things to say. And if you're already inclined to believe the negative, it'll impact you far more than the positive will. The hardest step is to learn how to ignore people with nothing good to say. A nice "Fork you too" will go a long way though that's not always easy. Probably the easiest way to deal with the negative people is to consider that they're probably putting you down to make themselves feel better. Now I KNOW that one sounds like textbook shrink, but that really is the only way some people know how to feel good. In those cases, a "you're just jealous," even if it's just in your head, goes a long way.